Remembering How To Deal With A {Bad} Day

How fitting … just days after reading Jeff’s inspirational story about crossing the finish of his first Ironman last year that yesterday I had a horrific bad training day and if I had a towel to throw in last night, I can tell you that I would have easily thrown the whole damn thing in.  The whole thing.   But I’m not because I can’t.  I won’t.

Yesterday was a scheduled 2100 yard swim followed by a five-mile run.  The run was fine.   The swim.  Oh the blasted swim.  The water was choppy and the boats on the lake were making it way worse.  I hate feeling like a bobber in the water.  My goggles were filling with water.  I was swallowing it by the bucket full.  All things aside my swim time wasn’t atrocious, but I can tell you that I hated the way that it was making me feel, so I quit.  I got out having done about half of what I should have done.  I got out feeling completely defeated.  Just two weeks ago I swam my half iron at Hague feeling completely relaxed and comfortable.  Probably a little too relaxed based on my time, but comfortable.  How can I go so quickly from comfortable to essentially drowning struggling.  So frustrating.

IMG_3366Exiting a good swim, on a calm lake….. #ilovedthisswimthemost

Fortunately, I had no towel to throw in, so I laced up my sneakers, threw on a visor, started my watch and went out for the run.  As I was running I thought about cutting the run short because it was my fourth day running in a row and I didn’t really “need” to get it in.  However, the weather was cooperating and I didn’t feel like I was drowning in humidity.  Plus, I decided that based on having a lousy swim that I needed to pick myself up by my sneakers and be in control of what was happening in this moment.  The run felt easy and free.  I don’t think I spoke other than to occasionally say hi to a passerby.

I made it back to my car and managed to change out of my wet tri top before the tears started.  I had a horrible swim and a great run.  Oh the ups and downs of all of this training and worrying are unbelievable.  It wasn’t a cry fest, just a few slow streamers as I drove my way down through Thatcher Park back towards home.  I stopped at one point as a very slow porcupine crossed the road.

photo(14)By the time I pulled over and got my camera, he was almost gone.

The porcupine was a good distraction.  He helped me to stop thinking and just drive for a few minutes.  As I was driving I realized how beautiful the sky was.  How lucky I am to be doing this thing that I love and be outside in nature enjoying it.

photo(15)#beauty

So, I pulled over again to take this picture.  And then I began to try to pull myself out of this little funk that one stupid swim had created.  Here’s a little self talk….

It’s one swim.  It’s not everything.

There will be good days and there will be bad days.

What’s important is that the good days outweigh the bad and that in the end I keep doing the thing that I love.

Ah yes, and now breathe.

There will be good days and there will be bad days.

In the end it’s important to keep making the choice to be there and to be in the moment.

And tomorrow will be a new day.

~slfchasingdownadream

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This entry was posted in Bad Day, Be Grateful, Be In The Moment, Training. Bookmark the permalink.

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