Well here’s the story of my Iron Crazies. I followed up my day yesterday, with my first trip out to the Bethlehem Triathlon Club (BTC) for the season. I had been our to Warners Lake once last summer as a guest. However, this year I have joined as I know that I need the open water swims on a weekly basis and I can’t often get to the Tuesday night swims with the Capital District Triathlon Club.
Oh, the wetsuit…
Anywho… this was my first open water swim of the season. I had 2000 yrds on the plan. Putting on my wetsuit was a struggle as it always is the first time or two. My first loop in the water was a little rocky as I tried to remember how to sight, not puke, etc. It doesn’t help that something is going on with my right shoulder, so for some of the swim, I really felt like I was getting no rotation. The second loop was much better. I was able to find a rhythm. And although I still had some difficulty sighting, it didn’t throw my whole swim off like it did during the first loop. I was happy to complete a mile in the time that I did. I hope to put down another strong swim next week to boost my confidence going into my first race of the season. And I can also say that I’m wondering about switching to a sleeveless wetsuit. I’m thinking I’ll get better rotation, but I’m not sure. I didn’t panic. All is good. Moving on.
Yet again, the swim was part of a bigger workout. So, I transitioned out of the swim and we headed out for a five-mile run. Last night was a beautiful night to be outdoors and the run didn’t feel all that bad despite all that I had already done yesterday. And then it happened. The Iron Crazies showed up.
At mile 3, I broke down. I didn’t understand why a 5 mile run could feel like such work. I was frustrated with my pace, although it was not the slowest I’ve ever done by any stretch of the imagination. I got nervous thinking about doing a half ironman next weekend. And then, I turned to my number one supporter in life and told him that I didn’t want to talk to him anymore and ran back in the other direction. I got about a 1/4 of a mile before I realized that I was being a total jerk. That I was scarred and taking it out on the wrong person. I continued to run thinking about that and thinking about all that lay before me. When I took off I planned to cut the five-mile run short because I just wanted to quit. As we rounded the corner to finish the run short at the parking lot, I pulled myself together and said to B, come on. We kept running. I made an apology for being a jerk and then I said, I can do this. I said it as much for him as for me. I said, I will never get stronger by quitting. I can do this. I am not going to bail. And I did. And I finished we finished the entire workout.
If only I could channel this…
I think the break down was a result of still being over tired from yesterday. I know that it was a result of being nervous about the tough days ahead. Who knows. But I do think that I managed to step back and put it in perspective and just finish the run. I rationalized the minutes in my head and reminded myself that it was just minutes. And then I once again, equated it to being a part of Ironman training. Sometimes, you have to keep going even when you don’t want to. This was one of those times. I win mind. This time I win.
(And p.s. to B – Thank you for not freaking out on me out there when I broke down. Chalk it up to Iron Crazies. I’ll work on it.)